by: Jonelle Knox

This month, I wanted to steer away from the “2008 Political Race” and talk about a topic that is close to me and is affecting urban America. A few years ago, Cops, the television show on Fox network, was a top-rated show. Each week when we tune in, there are at least one or two segments highlighting the issue of domestic violence. Whether it’s some drunken trailer park trash or other ignorant person of color (not just African-American), Cops displays the reality of what is happening in America – Domestic Violence…

Today, society is under the impression and has a belief that domestic violence is an issue that happens between a man and a woman and it happens only among lower-class citizens. That is so far from reality. The truth is domestic violence is not only an issue within the heterosexual community, it’s a major issue in the homosexual community. Additionally, it is not only happening to the lower class, it is happening to the middle and upper class as well. Who could forget the scenes from the movie What’s Love Got to Do with It where Tina Turner experienced years of domestic violence during her relationship with Ike Turner; or the recent reports of national evangelist Juanita Bynum and Bishop Thomas Weeks experiencing publicly displayed acts of domestic violence?

According to Family Violence Prevention Fund, the following facts pertain to Domestic Violence (heterosexual):

▲ Estimates range from 960,000 incidents of domestic violence to a current or former spouse, boyfriend, or girlfriend, to three million women who are physically abused by a husband or boyfriend per year.

▲Around the world, at least one in every three women has been beaten, coerced into sex, or otherwise abused during her lifetime.

▲Nearly one-third of American women (31 percent) reported being physically or sexually abused by a husband or boyfriend at some point in their lives, according to a 1998 Commonwealth Fund survey.

▲In the year 2001, 588,490 American women were victims of non-fatal violence committed by an intimate partner.

▲Women of all races are about equally vulnerable to violence by an intimate partner.

▲Male violence against women does much more damage than female violence against men; women are much more likely to be injured than men.

The reason this topic is so close to me is because I, too, have been a victim of domestic violence. As an African-American gay male, it is a topic, in my opinion, not discussed much in this lifestyle. It was an experience I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy.

While writing my personal statement for entrance into law school, I included my experience with domestic violence. I felt like this month was a perfect time to share excerpts with you, the readers. The following is an excerpt from my personal statement:

My experience with the justice system:

“Although I teach criminal justice, my personal experience with “the system” educated me far more and came at the cost of revealing my sexual orientation.

According to Outfront Minnesota, a gay and lesbian advocacy group, ‘between 25 and 33 percent of gay, lesbian, and bisexual partnerships include physical and/or emotional abuse. The National Coalition of Anti-Violence Programs (NCAVP) reported 3,327 cases of abuse in 1997. The number of reports made by men was 52 percent and by women 48 percent, essentially equal.’

The main problem with gay and lesbian abuse reports is that many go unreported. The services and counseling necessary for abuse victims are not available. Even if reports are made, there is unequal legal protection for victims, since many lawyers are apprehensive about getting involved in a case dealing with gays or lesbians.

I, too, was a victim of domestic violence in a gay-partnered relationship of more than four years. On many occasions, I reverted to the “honeymoon” phase and returned to an extremely emotionally and physically abusive relationship. It was only after being stalked, having my head thrown through a window, and sustaining more than six thousand dollars in property damage did I say, “I’ve had enough.” What became more frustrating was that during the process, my abuser personally filed numerous false police reports causing me to be arrested, only later to have the charges dropped. Adding to my own frustrations was that even though I had the courage, strength, and confidence to rely on “the system” for justice, my abuser only received thirty-five days in the county jail. During the time of his incarceration, I was faced with harassment and false charges filed by his new partner as well as his son, who continued to run away from his group home to my house.

As a result of the injustice I encountered, I would like to be able to legally assist other victims. I feel one injustice is too many! Law school and a law degree would allow me the opportunity to help others in need.”

Again, this is an issue that is hurting American families, individuals, and relationships. It is a topic that is close to me. I hope that by me opening up and sharing my experience it becomes close to you. Continue to use your rights to contact your local and national elected officials to further the issues of tougher laws and funding for programs involving domestic violence.